yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
