Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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