Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
