At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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