good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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