I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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