Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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