Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
