Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
