You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Randomize
