So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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