pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
