Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
