i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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