I wish my penis had an off switch
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'