I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering