I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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