:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.