Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.

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  (402): I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night. http://tfl.nu/5ggy
  Replies (31) Good night (11756) Bad night (1208)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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  (443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c
  Replies (3) Good night (1846) Bad night (676)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i barfeds in our rink

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  (612): i barfeds in our rink http://tfl.nu/23a8
  Replies (8) Good night (767) Bad night (2311)
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  (661): View more from California

  is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?

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  (661): is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero? http://tfl.nu/iroh
  Replies (31) Good night (6089) Bad night (1010)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?

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  (630): Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions? http://tfl.nu/adl4
  Replies (16) Good night (3087) Bad night (632)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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  (775): Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy? http://tfl.nu/1eeo
  Replies (33) Good night (4800) Bad night (2176)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

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  (443): Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is. http://tfl.nu/at5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (896)
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  (949): View more from California

  this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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  (949): this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8me0
  Replies (4) Good night (1738) Bad night (703)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.

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  (317): Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night. http://tfl.nu/8cwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1770) Bad night (482)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (622)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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  (864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (1161)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (495) Bad night (864)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.

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  (404): The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again. http://tfl.nu/6m3f
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (1029)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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  (204): I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad. http://tfl.nu/nxn2
  Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (322)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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  (780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (215)

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