Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (846): View more from

  He asked to "fluff my boner.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (846): He asked to "fluff my boner.." http://tfl.nu/m6cj
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (1778)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California. http://tfl.nu/4mjs
  Replies (43) Good night (1261) Bad night (2930)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!

  (1-650): View more from California

  noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish! (1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish! http://tfl.nu/qi3r
  Replies (86) Good night (3814) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite. http://tfl.nu/gcjl
  Replies (7) Good night (3336) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today". http://tfl.nu/jga5
  Replies (35) Good night (3717) Bad night (2035)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv
  Replies (58) Good night (6231) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (4163) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (5672)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper. http://tfl.nu/eehy
  Replies (8) Good night (1868) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism? http://tfl.nu/s1hj
  Replies (7) Good night (704) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1815) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it? http://tfl.nu/mo75
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me http://tfl.nu/8oqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1641) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/i89m
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (320)

Randomize