I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I told you penises don't tan
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off