I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
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I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now