Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

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  (818): Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes. http://tfl.nu/a910
  Replies (9) Good night (742) Bad night (901)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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  (303): he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused. http://tfl.nu/ocgb
  Replies (32) Good night (817) Bad night (2369)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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  (773): i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me http://tfl.nu/svmp
  Replies (37) Good night (769) Bad night (3033)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3830) Bad night (1494)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.

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  (440): I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit. http://tfl.nu/ddzq
  Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (3063)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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  (248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3
  Replies (22) Good night (1052) Bad night (4616)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.

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  (409): There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard. http://tfl.nu/fxyx
  Replies (9) Good night (4816) Bad night (1229)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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  (305): Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning? http://tfl.nu/gt8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3521) Bad night (1724)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6892) Bad night (1104)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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  (504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (700)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball

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  (813): It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball http://tfl.nu/dyfa
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (339)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich

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  (802): I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich http://tfl.nu/ehbw
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (328)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

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  (201): Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again http://tfl.nu/vf35
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (837)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

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  (724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (230)
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  (408): View more from California

  She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.

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  (408): She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up. http://tfl.nu/zn3k
  Replies (4) Good night (389) Bad night (519)

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