she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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