Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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