he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
