There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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