Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
