Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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