I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
