Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
