Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
