I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
