what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
