You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
