dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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