i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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