alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
