i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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