haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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