Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
