Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
