I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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