Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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