We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize