my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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