I need help removing her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
