She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize