i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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