either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
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I think a kid would responsible me up
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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