Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
