Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
