hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
