Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
