I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
