So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
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How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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