Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
