Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
