Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
