she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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