I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
