I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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