Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
