sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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