): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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