We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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