Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where does the pee come out of this thing
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
