giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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