Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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