well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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