Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
